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Deciding to start therapy can be daunting, and I often meet people who say they feel they could benefit from counselling, but aren’t sure how to choose the right therapist. Many people start by talking to their GP. Counselling and psychotherapy services are available through the NHS, which is brilliant, but waiting lists can be long, the number of sessions limited and you are often restricted on the type of therapy available to you. Seeking a therapist privately offers greater flexibility and variety, but the options seem endless and can be overwhelming. So how do you go about choosing the right therapist for you?
Research
If working face-to-face with someone is important to you, you can start by researching therapists in your area. However, you don’t necessarily need to limit yourself to your geographical location. Whilst my practice is based in Melton Mowbray, I also work with clients across the UK online, so if you if you find someone who feels like they could be right therapist for you, but they aren’t local, check whether they offer remote counselling.
If you know specifically what you need support with or how you might like that to work, you can look out for the therapist’s specialties and approaches, but many people are unsure exactly what they are looking for when they first start their search. My advice would be to look for a profile or website that speaks to you. Does what they are saying make sense to you or describe how you are feeling?
Financial Considerations
Whilst I know that NHS counselling provision is limited, I also understand that the cost of private therapy is a barrier to many. Your search might be led by your budget, so be sure to check the fees on a potential therapist’s profile or website. If you Google “low-cost therapy” you should find a number of services through private agencies or charities who offer discounted counselling sessions, depending on your circumstances. In addition to this, a number of therapists like myself allocate a portion of their sessions for those who might otherwise be unable to afford therapy. I offer an initial six sessions at a lower rate in certain timeslots , for those with a specific need for low-cost therapy. Once these are filled, I operate a waiting list or recommend an alternative local low-cost service.
Cultural Considerations
You may wish to seek out a therapist who shares an aspect of your culture or identity. You may be specifically looking for a black therapist, a neurodivergent therapist or a therapist from the LGBTQ+ community for example. Of course, many of the issues people bring to therapy do not discriminate, and a therapist does not need to be like you to understand you and support you. But for some people, having a therapist with a shared culture or identity can be really helpful. Not having to explain the values, experiences and perspectives of your community can make therapy more accessible and alleviate any concerns about potential prejudice.
Connection and Comfort
Feeling comfortable and having a connection with your therapist is crucial. This connection can start from the moment you read that therapist’s profile or website – you might feel instantly drawn to someone’s words or photograph. During initial consultations or first sessions, pay attention to how you feel. Trust your instincts – but also know that the first sessions can be daunting and a certain amount of nerves are to be expected. Ask yourself, does this person make me feel uncomfortable or do I feel uncomfortable exploring this issue openly for the first time? With time, and the right therapist, you will grow to trust and feel comfortable in your sessions and within yourself.
Credentials and Experience
It is a good idea to ensure the therapist you choose is qualified and registered with a professional membership organisation. I am registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) which is accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA), but there are other official organisations that are PSA accredited too, such as NCPS, UKCP and COSCA. You know that a therapist who is a member of one of these professional bodies has had their qualifications verified and has agreed to adhere to ethical guidelines designed to support and protect clients.
Different Modalities
Therapy comes in various forms—individual, couples, group—and diverse modalities such as cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), person-centred, psychodynamic and more. I have put modality further down my list, not because it isn’t important, but because for many people it is difficult to know which modality might work for you until you have experienced therapy. The good news is, research has shown that the therapeutic relationship is the biggest contributing factor reported by clients in successful therapeutic outcomes, rather than the type of therapy, therefore I would say a good start is to find a therapist you connect with.
How I Can Help
I believe in a compassionate and personalised approach to therapy. I work from a position of openness and curiosity. I believe that deep down, you know yourself better than anyone else, even if it doesn’t always feel that way to you. It is my role to get to know the world through your eyes, the aim being that with time you will be able to see things with a new perspective, process difficult events and transitions, or gain awareness and skills to be able to navigate your life in new ways. It is my job to really listen to you, without any preconceived notion of who you are and no judgement. I am listening to understand, to empathise, to reflect, to give insight. To enable you to be heard and feel seen. We might work creatively if you wish, or you might want some psychoeducation on what is happening to you physiological and psychologically, but whatever you need and whichever therapist you choose, effective therapy is built on trust and open communication. A good therapist will listen attentively, empathise, and collaborate with you on your needs and goals.
Why I Won’t Say “I Offer a Safe Space”
The phrase "I offer a safe space" has become somewhat of a cliché in the therapy world. While the intention behind it is usually genuine and well-meaning, there are several reasons why I don’t say it.
Safety is a deeply personal and subjective experience. Clients come from diverse backgrounds and have different life experiences, therefore their perception of safety can vary significantly. Whilst I know that I not only mean no harm, but only want the best for my clients, promising a safe space makes an assumption about what makes an individual feel safe. For me, therapy is about self-awareness and empowerment, and glibly stating that I offer a safe space could unintentionally take away a client’s agency to assess and decide what feels safe and comfortable for them.
And besides, therapy is at times uncomfortable. There is growth in moving outside of our comfort zones within a boundaried relationship that allows us to feel supported and understood. Instead of declaring that I offer a safe space, I instead focus on conveying my commitment to creating an environment that prioritises client autonomy, respect, empathy and non-judgement; an environment within which my clients can come to feel safe in their own time.
Take the First Step
If you resonate with what you’ve read and feel ready to explore counselling, I encourage you to take the first step. Reach out, ask questions, and trust your instincts.
If you’d like to learn more about working with me specifically, I am always happy to arrange a free, informal chat via telephone or online. Please feel free to get in touch via email at themeltontherapist@outlook.com or call or message me (WhatsApp or SMS) on 07920 690052.
The most important thing is finding the right fit for you. Whether it’s with me or another therapist, you should prioritise your comfort and connection. Your mental health journey is unique, and finding the right support can make a significant difference.
